it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize