You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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