and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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