i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize