I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
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you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
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At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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