I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize