Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I could have mohawked her pubes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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