id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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