i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
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I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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