we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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