I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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