i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
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