Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
sex in a hospital.. check
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize