You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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