You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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