Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I want a musical about memes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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