Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize