i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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