Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize