Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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