Who wears a wallet chain?!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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