i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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