he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize