you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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