and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize