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I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
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