Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
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As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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