So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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