I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize