I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize