No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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