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I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
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