He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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