Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...

(603): View more from New Hampshire

dibs.

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(203): the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces... (603): dibs. http://tfl.nu/d3kw

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(201): View more from New Jersey

my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.

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(201): my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums. http://tfl.nu/0487

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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(603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.

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(203): There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/0we4

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(516): View more from New York

I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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(516): I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship http://tfl.nu/9ygn

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(316): View more from Kansas

I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That's how you know you deserve to be a senior

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(316): I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES. (1-316): That's how you know you deserve to be a senior http://tfl.nu/bxif

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(917): View more from New York City

Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.

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(917): Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor. http://tfl.nu/lzwd

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(636): View more from Missouri

He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.

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(636): He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us. http://tfl.nu/lk9h

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(708): View more from Illinois

Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.

(773): View more from Illinois

We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?

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(708): Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning. (773): We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we? http://tfl.nu/hntu

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up

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(910): I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up http://tfl.nu/word

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(613): View more from Ontario

She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"

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(613): She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!" http://tfl.nu/0i27

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(258): View more from

You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.

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(258): You told me my blanket felt like ground beef. http://tfl.nu/qi5j

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(614): View more from Ohio

It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.

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(614): It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment. http://tfl.nu/va62

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

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(570): I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas." http://tfl.nu/unt9

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.

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(609): So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/54rj

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