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the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
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