She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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