Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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