and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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