dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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