Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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