Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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