do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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