Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
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I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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