She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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