I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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