And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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