so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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