i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So many bounce houses so little time
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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