shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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