ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize