is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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