At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She said her name was "party"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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